To the Woman Afraid of Having Kids

I was 34 and my biological clock was ticking. I was working a lot and traveling the world non-stop.

Everyone kept asking when the kids were coming.

Me, rocking mini-sidekicks? Nope, not gonna happen, I thought.

It was almost at the point that my family was just going to write me off as a dreamer, a hard-working travel feen whose career, money, and freedom just couldn’t be disturbed.

Truth be told…

I was scared to have a baby.

I was afraid of labor and delivery.

I was afraid a baby would hurt my relationship.

I was afraid a baby would change my body for the worst.

I was afraid a baby would put me in the poor house.

I was afraid that I might lose my identity.

terrified of having a baby | woman holding a pregnancy test

When I saw the double-blue lines on the pregnancy test, I erupted into loud, boisterous sobs.

While most women’s cries stem from excitement and glee after discovering they will soon have a baby in their arms, my sobs came from a darker place.

I was deeply afraid of becoming a mother.

And the timing couldn’t have been worse.

You can continue reading about my experience becoming a mother and what I learned about myself in the process in my recent article on the popular motherhood, marriage, and faith website, Her View from Home.


When you’re finished reading the above article, I’d love to hear your thoughts. And, if you’re willing, how you started your journey to motherhood.

Post your story in the comments below and you may even be featured in an upcoming article or newsletter!

I'm afraid of having children

Share the love!

Author: Brandi Wiatrak

Hey, Mama! I'm Violet's mom and Chris' step-mama, Brandi. This space is a peek into my cold-brew fueled life navigating motherhood and the world. With brutal honesty, humor, and sarcasm, I talk about the joys (and sucks) of parenting, ways to live a simple & sane life, and awesome adventures to embark on with your family. Come aboard my crazy train! Wine and Gerber Puffs included.

2 thoughts

  1. It’s very brave of you to share this fear so openly. I think at the heart of it, we’re all afraid of becoming mothers. We either don’t admit it to ourselves, or the excitement drowns out the fear to the point where we don’t pay it much heed. But it’s there to some or other degree. We wonder if we’ll be good at it, if our kids will love us, if our lives will change for the better, in what way our relationships will be impacted….. It’s easy to get consumed by these fears or concerns. Some of us are blessed to have our village around us to make the transition easier at least. I’m glad to have read in the linked article about how your daughter’s birth brought about a new life for you as well. 🙂
    I need to remind myself to have more faith – I believe that things have a way of working out, and working out the way that is best for us – I just need to remind myself of that more often. Because it really is amazing how things work out best for us when we have faith and trust 🙂

    1. Brandi Wiatrak says:

      Thank you so much for reading and sharing your thoughts. I was so scared to have my true feelings out there that I almost pulled the article down. I wanted to share my story for the women who are scared to have kids, or sadly, afraid to move forward with their pregnancy so that they may know that having that child may very well be the best thing that has ever happened to you. And, to remind them, that it isn’t the end of your life, it’s just the beginning, very fruitful beginning. ❤

Leave a Reply