As I stroll the crafts aisle at the local Dollar Tree searching for “whosits and whatsits galore” for my daughter’s mermaid-themed first birthday party, my thoughts return to that cold, blustery December day when my husband and I left the hospital with our baby girl surprise, Violet.
It had been several days since I was induced and our little trooper was pried from my aching loins with forceps (I’ll share the gory & traumatic details with you over wine one day). We were happy to finally be headed home. Well, my husband was.
I was on my own now. No nurses, no doctors, no lactation coaches, no family close by to guide me. My new title now was “stay at home mom” and this little human was relying on this rookie mom for its growth, development—and ultimately —its survival.
I remember sitting in the backseat next to my fragile cargo as she screamed for I don’t know what. Milk? Cuddles? A diaper change? I had no idea, but I recall feeling scared and
slightly majorly overwhelmed.
In an instant, the mom title had been stamped on my forehead, yet I had no idea how to take care of an infant. In an attempt to become an infant toting expert, I read laundry loads of mom blogs, subscribed to parenting magazines & baby milestone apps; and studied reputable medical websites.
My husband’s nerves went haywire due to my frequent spewings of the latest hacks, facts, and figures of child-rearing and beyond. While this may have been his second rodeo, this little bundle was my first and I didn’t want her to be bucked into oblivion because of Mama’s ignorance.
I snap back from memory lane and cross off the remaining birthday decor items from my shopping list and head toward the checkout counter. While I unload her birthday goodies, I cry.
It is my baby’s first birthday.
Although parties are a time of fun and celebration, it is understandable if you are feeling emotional on the first birthday of your child.
I’m depressed about the baby growing up too. Don’t feel bad, Mama. I cried in line at the Dollar Store as a young 20-something-year-old with dreads looked at me like I was a hormonal dingbat (well…there is some truth in that).
Here are 30 candid thoughts every Mom has on their child’s first birthday.
Hey, it’s her party, but you can still cry if you want to.
1. OMG, the year flew by!
2. I survived!
3. So did my baby!
6. Who knew I could survive on shit sleep for 365 days?
6. So, I can wean her now? How?
7. How much cow’s milk can she drink?
8. Will I ever lose this muffin top?
9. Oh no, did I fill out her baby book?
10. The terrible twos are just around the corner.
11. Will she have outgrown Baby Shark by then?
12. Dude, stop thinking so far ahead and just live in the moment!
13. What size shoe does a one-year-old wear?
14. One year ago today, I was giving birth…
15. Will my sex life ever be the same?
16. Now that she’s one, can the hubby and I have a weekend away together?
17. I can’t survive a weekend away from my baby.
18. Is she still considered a baby?
19. I think I have a toddler now.
20. When do I start potty training?
21. Google: potty training techniques.
22. I still don’t know what I’m doing.
23. Gosh, she has grown so fast! She’s a mini person now.
24. She didn’t need all these gifts. She’s so happy with just the wrapping paper and boxes.
25. I need to go buy some thank-you cards.
26. It’s already 3 PM and she hasn’t even had a nap?!
27. (Looks around the room) I’m glad I have cleanup help for the after-party mess.
28. Feck, I forgot to buy juices and little kid drinks for the party.
29. Google: Can toddlers drink LaCroix?
30. Is this the last baby? (sips on an Espresso Martini)
What thoughts floated through your mind on your child’s first birthday? Share them in the comments below! 🙂